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Adultery Tips and Tricks

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Adultery Tips and Tricks # 1

Don't become a friend of the family. Avoid the temptation to get everybody together. Introducing husbands and wives to lovers. This is not adultery, this is sick.

Adultery Tips and Tricks # 2

Don't indulge in true confessions. Honest is OK. But don't tell your lover all the gory details of past love affairs. Life before them didn't exist anyway. Will they believe that? Yes. *smiles*

Adultery Tips and Tricks # 3

Don't flirt with sudden death by insisting your lover take you to a restaurant that is frequented by your husband or wife and all their best friends, even if it is your favourite restaurant.

Adultery Tips and Tricks # 4

Do if you feel the magic going out of your extramarital affair invent a fantasy life. However it probably would have been good to at least try this with your wife or husband prior to having an affair.

Adultery Tips and Tricks # 5

Don't get involved with your best friend's husband/wife. It has been proved beyond any doubt friendship outlives romance. If you drop him/her you won't be able to remain friends with your best friend as he/her won't want you around. If he /she drop you, you'll have to go on smiling through your tears of rage. Either way it doesn't work.

Adultery Tips and Tricks # 6

Do make complimentary remarks, contrary to popular belief, flattery is the sincerest form of flattery. Women: make personal remarks about his appearance (men love it) Men: flatter selectively. Tell the smart ones they are pretty, the pretty ones they are smart. You can't go wrong.

Adultery Tips and Tricks # 7

Don't call home in the presence of your lover. The sound of your domestic - the married voice - will have an effect. Keep things separate.

Adultery Tips and Tricks # 8

Don't imitate your rival. He or she has one of those.

Adultery Tips and Tricks # 9

Don't be hostile to your lover's partner. No matter what your lover says about them you never criticize. It is not enough to not express hostility, you ideally shouldn't feel it either.

Adultery Tips and Tricks # 10

Don't EVER complain about your own spouse. This shows a lack of character after all it was your choice.

Adultery Tips and Tricks # 11

Don't try and make your lover jealous. Most people are insecure anyway...why make them more insecure.

Adultery Tips and Tricks # 12

Do on the other hand remember to give little snarls of jealousy occasionally about the platonic friend your lover goes to the movies with. Too much jealousy is a disaster, none at all is an insult.

Adultery Tips and Tricks # 13

Don't play games socially with her husband. If you do, don't win.

Adultery Tips and Tricks # 14

Don't start wishing they could stay over for dinner or sleep over. Maybe the husband or wife waiting at home would miss them if they did.

Adultery Tips and Tricks # 15

Do put her picture on your dressing table. It will make her nervous, but she will like it. Don't do this if you share your dressing table with your wife. She won't understand and definitely won't like it.

Adultery Tips and Tricks # 16

Don't make funny phone calls, Hello this is the Acme Garage can I speak to .... Her husband or his wife will of course question. No one expects the Spanish Inquisition.

Adultery Tips and Tricks # 17

Don't have an affair with your boss. Not unless you don't like your job and you have another lined up. However his Boss is a possibility.

Adultery Tips and Tricks # 18

Do shower using the same soap you use at home. Bring it with you. Women can smell a new fragrance at 500 metres.

Adultery Tips and Tricks # 19

Don't have love bites, scratches, bruises, haircuts or shaved pubes you can't explain away fully.

Adultery Tips and Tricks # 20

Don't start wearing clothes that are totally out of character. Older men in hipster jeans with low crotches. Older women in short elastic dresses that ride up.

Adultery Tips and Tricks # 21

Don't call the wrong name when you cum with your wife/husband.

Adultery Tips and Tricks # 22

Don't get events or times mixed up and start asking your wife/husband just what was that meal we had again the other night at the Restaurant?

Adultery Tips and Tricks # 23

Don't ever say to the wife/husband We have been here before haven't we? unless you have.

Adultery Tips and Tricks # 24

Don't use your credit card in strange places. Remember the bank statements now read like a Gregory's Street Directory.

Adultery Tips and Tricks # 25

Don't pay by credit card for the same reasons.

Adultery Tips and Tricks # 26

Don't forget the mobile phone records are just as deadly.

Adultery Tips and Tricks # 27

Do stop the car miles from home and take the time to inspect the ashtrays, glove compartment, floors, especially under seats for anything that give the game away. If they ever say has anyone been in the car. Always answer Yes because the next question if you don't will be: Hmmm why has this cigarette butt got lipstick on the tip OR There is an opened condom wrapper under the seat

Adultery Tips and Tricks # 28

Do buy flowers and chocolates for both. Women love flowers and chocolates. Make it part of the norm and not out of the ordinary.

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