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Flirting News - WHEN a 'yes' may mean a 'no'

....LADIES and gentlemen, would-be lovers or just plain let's-go-up-to-my-place Casanovas, here's the sober truth - the rules of flirtinghave changedThe Largest Married Personals Website in the World!

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When a 'yes' may mean a 'no'
Want to flirt without losing your skirt? Check out the do's and don'ts of modern-day party schmoozing

LADIES and gentlemen, would-be lovers or just plain let's-go-up-to-my-place Casanovas, here's the sober truth - the rules of flirting have changed. The cookie jar may be open, but it doesn't automatically mean that you can help yourself to as much as you want.

Yes, this means some inconvenience to the single urban male, female and occasional party host. Parties used to be about good food and good company. In these cosmopolitan times of 'freestyle' living, parties today mean sexual attraction, alcohol and warm pastries - just the recipe for not-so-innocent things to follow.

Still, who can you really blame? It all boils down to the Mars versus Venus phenomenon in which men are genetically programmed to take 'yes' to mean 'yes', 'no' to mean 'maybe', and a good kick in the shins to mean a probable 'no'. Women don't make it any easier as they succumb with a half-hearted 'yes' but an inner 'uh-oh', expecting the man to deduce that alcohol is impairing both her judgment and aim, and therefore he should empathise and understand her moral dilemma and recognise the subtle signs that she might have changed her mind. In reality, he hasn't the foggiest idea what she's on about and thinks she's just playing hard to get.

Now, there are several options available to avoid such unpleasantries. The chastity belt - so charmingly suggested by some disgruntled men - is not one, on account of the fact that it is demeaning, archaic and the risk of losing the keys on the MRT much too high. Another possibility is body-marking, in which a woman could mark certain areas of her body with polite but firm instructions like 'ok', 'only if we're going on a second date' and 'oy, not there, buster'.

Of course, men should also have some kind of insurance coverage against false accusations, but it should also be recommended that they go for a quick course on party flirting etiquette first before they head for their next party. One of the topics the course should cover is that no matter how much a woman likes them, most of them also like their underwear and would like to go home still wearing it. At least on the first date.

Men might also want to consider more practical pick-up lines like, 'I put it to you that I would like to take you to my place, take off your clothes and, you know, do stuff - would you be agreeable to that and if so, would you sign this indemnity form for me in triplicate?' Hey, it might get men a bourbon in the face, but it sure is a sight better than raising money for bail.

Of course, party organisers also have a certain responsibility to add a few safety features to the event, instead of just ensuring enough chips and dip. First, lock all the bedroom doors. Ration drinks, or replace some bottles of wine with a non-alcoholic beverage. If you have a reputation of serving cheap plonk, no one will notice. Better still, don't even hold a party or invite only married couples. It'll be boring but you won't have to clean up regurgitated finger food.

But of course, the ultimate safety catch is simple: if you drink, don't date. Ice-blended Milo is still a drink. Insist on it at your next party. You won't regret it, because you will still remember your name at the end of the night. So, party on. Excellent. Keep your clothes on. Please.

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