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Urban UK Swinging

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swinging has had a bad press. the daily mail and titillating news of the world expose of suburban middle aged couples in the decline of their terminally boring marriages getting it on with their neighbours. naturally this display of unChristian moral turpitude will result in the decay of western society. like most things that rattle the nanny state however, the reality is somewhat different.
the “lifestyle”, as those in the scene refer to it, is a middle class phenomenon enjoyed by couples and singles from a wide variety of professions and backgrounds from lawyers to artists to taxi drivers. for them, the lifestyle provides a means of satisfying expression and control over their own sexuality in what could be described as a form of manumission or rebellion.

far from being a suburban pastime, recent growth has been in urban cities and it's entering the mainstream. swinging has even replaced property prices as dinner party conversation amongst the trendy urbanites. so it's likely that if you're not doing it then someone in your social circle is.

there's serious money going into supplying this growing market too. take brian and caroline sheridan the entrepreneurs behind london's club wicked. focussed on the alternative lifestyle market they acquired the space in january 2003 and invested over half a million pounds to create a high quality club environment.

since february they've hosted club champagne, “an elegant night for sophisticated swingers”. what they really mean is no riff-raff, a point adequately made by the £60 membership fee and £25 entrance. but what you get here is quality. it's a couple's only night so mrs bezel and i went to have a look.

the club is set amongst brick faced vaults under the railway arches in a modern bohemian, vaguely eastern, style with lots of comfortable bean bags, couches, and so on. the only deviation of this theme would be a vertical contraption where you can tie someone up drawing their arms and legs wide open but even this is in an object d'art theme.

there's a regular club area for simply relaxing with a drink and dancing. the dj played out tunes that would be fine in any decent club - funky house, garage on the night we were there. a well stocked, reasonably priced bar and friendly staff completes this well thought out space.

new to the scene, mrs and i had some apprehensions but needn't have worried. the vibe in the club is friendly and social. small touch's like a sexy chocolate dip with fresh strawberries and marshmallow being passed around creates an inclusive ambiance. those in the lifestyle live a culture that is respectful, social and non-threatening. no one's pushy or creepy, the couples are well turned out, at worst averagely good looking and in the 20's to 40's age range.

we were wondering what the dj made of all this when a couple were now lying on the dancefloor. the man enjoying an extensive blow job from his partner who was now naked. they began vigorously fucking each other whilst many looked on. soon joined by another couple we witnessed a mini orgy on the dance floor whilst the dj played on only pausing to pass the couple a box of tissues.

away from the bar you pass the soft-lit play lounges where many of the couples had settled. here, couples are just chilling out romantically with some heavy petting, elsewhere it's a roman orgy of couples having sex. a very sexy landscape punctuated by the heavy sighs and cry of orgasm, which by our reckoning was every 5 minutes.

in another area is the ‘tie your partner up' contraption. mrs has an untapped dominatrix thing so we thought it would be fun to play with. i tied my wife up with loose knots and without pulling her arms and legs to their full extent just for a giggle. we soon had a small audience when sarah-jane, a transvestite hostess for the club, gamely asked if we wanted it done properly.

mrs said, “yes!” before i did and soon she was strapped up good and proper. we could have left it there but with congenial on-lookers it didn't seem fair to just untie her. spanking was a popular suggestion that sarah-jane was only too willing to administer. soon another girl stepped up to do the honours and after a few slaps of my wife's arse she was giving her a and kiss better and gentle feel up. very horny and it was obvious that mrs was having fun.

and fun is what it's about, yes it's erotic, yes it's sexual but this part of the evening was like any audience participation show but with a consensual adult theme guided by it's participants with humour and applause. soon, everyone wanted to have a go at being tied up.

a man sitting next to me asked for my lighter. when returned, it was coated with lube. it made me wonder where it had been but as he was with me, watching his partner being spanked and touched up by my wife in an all girl threesome, i concluded that his hands had some residue from a previous lube based activity. either that or i was just over excited.

all told we had a very enjoyable and stimulating evening, something that made us smile the next morning. it also gave us an entirely different perspective on the London swinging scene. for us it was escapism into a world of harmless fun and we'd certainly go again.

but is it harmless? the urban swinging phenomenon and the appearance of fully sorted clubs hasn't received favourable endorsement from government marriage guidance bodies. although little known about the divorce rate amongst swingers, swinging is not a prescription to patch up problems in your marriage.

swingers claim that, unlike non-swingers, their relationships are based on absolute truth and openness. they acknowledge their desires and avoid deception that ends marriages. swinging doesn't intrude on the love and commitment in their own relationship.

western society demands that we live in monogamous partnerships. this was determined at a time when we popped our clogs at 45, relationships were based on economic control and women didn't have the vote. today it presents an often impossible choice, risk everything or suppress desire?

even those taking the virtuous route may find that being monogamous is like giving up smoking, you might quit the habit but you're still in denial.

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