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Urban UK Swinging
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swinging has had a bad press. the daily mail and titillating
news of the world expose of suburban middle aged couples in the decline
of their terminally boring marriages getting it on with their neighbours.
naturally this display of unChristian moral turpitude will result in
the decay of western society. like most things that rattle the nanny
state however, the reality is somewhat different.
the “lifestyle”, as those in the scene refer to it, is a
middle class phenomenon enjoyed by couples and singles from a wide variety
of professions and backgrounds from lawyers to artists to taxi drivers.
for them, the lifestyle provides a means of satisfying expression and
control over their own sexuality in what could be described as a form
of manumission or rebellion.
far from being a suburban pastime, recent growth has
been in urban cities and it's entering the mainstream. swinging
has even replaced property prices as dinner party conversation amongst
the trendy urbanites. so it's likely that if you're not
doing it then someone in your social circle is.
there's serious money going into supplying this
growing market too. take brian and caroline sheridan the entrepreneurs
behind london's club wicked. focussed on the alternative lifestyle
market they acquired the space in january 2003 and invested over half
a million pounds to create a high quality club environment.
since february they've hosted club champagne,
“an elegant night for sophisticated swingers”. what they
really mean is no riff-raff, a point adequately made by the £60
membership fee and £25 entrance. but what you get here is quality.
it's a couple's only night so mrs bezel and i went to have
the club is set amongst brick faced vaults under the
railway arches in a modern bohemian, vaguely eastern, style with lots
of comfortable bean bags, couches, and so on. the only deviation of
this theme would be a vertical contraption where you can tie someone
up drawing their arms and legs wide open but even this is in an object
there's a regular club area for simply relaxing
with a drink and dancing. the dj played out tunes that would be fine
in any decent club - funky house, garage on the night we were
there. a well stocked, reasonably priced bar and friendly staff completes
this well thought out space.
new to the scene, mrs and i had some apprehensions
but needn't have worried. the vibe in the club is friendly and
social. small touch's like a sexy chocolate dip with fresh strawberries
and marshmallow being passed around creates an inclusive ambiance. those
in the lifestyle live a culture that is respectful, social and non-threatening.
no one's pushy or creepy, the couples are well turned out, at
worst averagely good looking and in the 20's to 40's age
we were wondering what the dj made of all this when
a couple were now lying on the dancefloor. the man enjoying an extensive
blow job from his partner who was now naked. they began vigorously fucking
each other whilst many looked on. soon joined by another couple we witnessed
a mini orgy on the dance floor whilst the dj played on only pausing
to pass the couple a box of tissues.
away from the bar you pass the soft-lit play lounges
where many of the couples had settled. here, couples are just chilling
out romantically with some heavy petting, elsewhere it's a roman
orgy of couples having sex. a very sexy landscape punctuated by the
heavy sighs and cry of orgasm, which by our reckoning was every 5 minutes.
in another area is the ‘tie your partner up'
contraption. mrs has an untapped dominatrix thing so we thought it would
be fun to play with. i tied my wife up with loose knots and without
pulling her arms and legs to their full extent just for a giggle. we
soon had a small audience when sarah-jane, a transvestite hostess for
the club, gamely asked if we wanted it done properly.
mrs said, “yes!” before i did and soon she was strapped
up good and proper. we could have left it there but with congenial on-lookers
it didn't seem fair to just untie her. spanking was a popular
suggestion that sarah-jane was only too willing to administer. soon
another girl stepped up to do the honours and after a few slaps of my
wife's arse she was giving her a and kiss better and gentle feel
up. very horny and it was obvious that mrs was having fun.
and fun is what it's about, yes it's erotic,
yes it's sexual but this part of the evening was like any audience
participation show but with a consensual adult theme guided by it's
participants with humour and applause. soon, everyone wanted to have
a go at being tied up.
a man sitting next to me asked for my lighter. when
returned, it was coated with lube. it made me wonder where it had been
but as he was with me, watching his partner being spanked and touched
up by my wife in an all girl threesome, i concluded that his hands had
some residue from a previous lube based activity. either that or i was
just over excited.
all told we had a very enjoyable and stimulating evening,
something that made us smile the next morning. it also gave us an entirely
different perspective on the London swinging scene. for us it was escapism
into a world of harmless fun and we'd certainly go again.
but is it harmless? the urban swinging phenomenon and
the appearance of fully sorted clubs hasn't received favourable
endorsement from government marriage guidance bodies. although little
known about the divorce rate amongst swingers, swinging is not a prescription
to patch up problems in your marriage.
swingers claim that, unlike non-swingers, their relationships
are based on absolute truth and openness. they acknowledge their desires
and avoid deception that ends marriages. swinging doesn't intrude
on the love and commitment in their own relationship.
western society demands that we live in monogamous
partnerships. this was determined at a time when we popped our clogs
at 45, relationships were based on economic control and women didn't
have the vote. today it presents an often impossible choice, risk everything
or suppress desire?
even those taking the virtuous route may find that
being monogamous is like giving up smoking, you might quit the habit
but you're still in denial.
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